Common Problems
Toxic Boss or Workplace
It happens to the best of us, that we may find ourselves subject to a relationship or environment that is harsh, abusive, and insulting. This takes a toll on our morale and our health - and sometimes those of our loved ones. Escape is often a wise course, but (often) not before we’ve extracted the rich learning for ourselves: Is there anything that made me particularly vulnerable to punishment? What are the skills I could strengthen to bolster against maltreatment? What would I expect from a healthy relationship to authority?
Perfectionism / Obsessiveness
You might be a picture of poise on the surface but it’s quite a different story under the hood. Your tendency to ruminate on mistakes or lapses can hamper your productivity for hours or days, to say nothing about its effect on your sleep. Professionals with this presentation have seemed to benefit from a balanced exploration of the trade-offs of such an approach to life and coaching in strategies to retrain different patterns of responding.
Depression
Depression, funk, and emotional exhaustion: call it what you want, the condition characterized by low mood and low energy is a bear to deal with. I can’t emphasize enough that each case is unique. With that said, what’s seemed to help those with depression is an objective validation of the struggle, education about contributing factors, an exploration of opportunities to restore connection, and coaching through the specific skills to help navigate a recovery.
Alcoholism
For an array of reasons, it may have come to be that retreating into a bottle has become the most attractive option (among few) to cope with either overwhelming, confusing or simply vacant feelings. While the phenomenon of substance dependence is complex, I view it essentially as a deficit of abilities in self-regulation (of feelings, thinking and self-esteem). Persons presenting with this condition have benefited from education about this deficit and coaching around the skills to more effectively manage oneself in moments of dysregulation.
Relationship Dysfunction
We would not be unjustified in calling our culture a poor teacher of relationship skills. But we could fairly claim, too, that being a responsible boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse is hard work. This is, again, particularly true for professionals whose mental and emotional resources might be tied up with demands in the workplace. Persons in this camp have found therapy helpful for gaining a clear-eyed assessment of the relationship challenges, exploring honestly one’s own role, and identifying some practical solutions to test out.
Family Conflicts
The extended family (whether our own or adopted by marriage) carries rewards and risks, and hopefully the balance tilts clearly in your favor. In some situations, however, the balance is precarious, particularly during stressful occasions such as when a child is born or you’re celebrating a holiday. Persons in this predicament have found help in gaining support exploring the dynamics, an objective opinion, and help identifying strategies to more effectively manage boundaries and protect the partnership.
Childhood Trauma
The labels of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse do virtually nothing to illuminate the long-term effects on the development of our self-esteem, emotional lives, capacity for relationship, or resilience. The effects are profound and long-lasting. Therapy provides a space to explore the insidious ways trauma bear on our present-day engagements, not toward underlining our suffering but evolving our relationship to these ongoing dynamics.
Emptiness
Childhood conditions of instability, disruption and stress can thwart the development of a healthy sense of self. As adults we are left to identify with a shell of societal expectations or, worse, a hollow void. This often results in a restless pursuit of a sense of meaning, an emotional high, or a cherished role. Therapy provides the space to foster a discovery - and refinement - of the core values and beliefs that enable an ever-growing sense of fulfillment.